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A FEW LAUGHS Featuring / Targeting:
Captain & Tennille

Source: http://www.benningtonvalepress.com/2011/06/newly-single-hugh-hefner-dreads.html

Monday, June 20, 2011
Newly Single, Hugh Hefner Dreads Challenges of Dating Scene: “Where Does a Guy Like Me Find Beautiful Women?”
By BC Bass
Photo courtesy of Reuters
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, 85, prepares to face an uncertain future of bachelorhood after being dumped at the altar by 25-year-old fiancee Crystal Harris last weekend. Although Harris claimed that she called off the engagement over “jitters” about living as a virtual sex prisoner behind the walls of a cloistered mansion -- in regimented servitude as part of a highly competitive harem -- friends say Harris had misgivings about Hefner’s alleged obsession with Daryl Dragon of the super-duo Captain and Tennille.

“This was going to be my wedding day, but life is full of surprises. After all is said & done, staying single is probably for the best,” Hefner posted on Twitter. He did not include a photo of his underpants.
According to sources inside the Playboy Mansion, a heartbroken Hefner immersed himself in romantic films such as “Sleepless in Seattle,” “50 First Dates,” “Last Tango in Paris,” “American Beauty,” “Citizen Kane” and “Runaway Bride,” forcing the mansion’s indentured Playmates to endure the screenings in an endless 72-hour loop.
“It was like a country song gone to extremes,” said a man named Klipspringer, a strange squatter who took up residence in the mansion two years ago after attending a party and never leaving. “Crystal took his love, took his dog, took his money and went to town.”
Klipspringer said that during the movie screenings, Hef made the girls tape stickers over their mouths that said “Runaway Bride -- Crystal Harris.” Then he had t-shirts printed up that said “Life’s a Bitch. Crystal Harris is a [expletive deleted].”
“He’s had me singing ‘Muskrat Love’ non-stop for days while he plays the piano, even though the song he plays is ‘Chopsticks.’ That’s why I’m wearing this dress. He keeps calling me Toni,” Klipspringer added.
But those closest to Hefner fear that beginning life again at 85 will be difficult for the unassuming and shy media magnate.
“It’s hard getting back into the dating scene, even with help,” said Hef’s pharmacist, pondering a half-empty bottle of blue pills. “I mean, where does he go to meet eligible girls? It’s not like he’s surrounded by countless numbers of beautiful, single women who’re willing to throw themselves at his feet. As a man, he needs to constantly question what differentiates him from the rest of the pack. Meeting women is rough. Then when you find the right girl, you never know if she will get to a point in the relationship where she feels comfortable enough to take off her clothes in front of you. It’s just a tragedy. I hope he can pull together and find love again. Preferably next week, when I refill his prescription.”
(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.

Source: National US Newspapers, published in 2010 / ILLUSTRATOR: Greg Evans
This comic series entitled 'LUANN', was discovered by TONI'S doggie-friends', in Arizona .-

Source: National US Newspapers, published in 2010 / ILLUSTRATOR: Jim Toomey
This comic series entitled 'SHERMAN'S LAGOON', was discovered by our friend 'DOTTIE', in N. Nevada.- and sent to us via US Mail . Thanks DOTTIE !!

Source: Entertainment Weekly, published in 1995 / ILLUSTRATOR: Danny Hellman
Source: An Anonymous Blogger - discovered on YouTube.com, a Rocked-Up version of Captain & Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together". However, Neil Sedaka (who wrote LWKUT) may not approve of this band's (Nickelback) removal of some original 'chords' & melody alterations to his song.
via a YouTube Video Link. / Feb. 2010

...to view / listen to - a Rocked-Up version of Captain & Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together"
The anonymous blogger writes..

"One of my favorite rock covers ever is Canadian post-grunge band Nickelback's ((http://www.nickelback.com/index2.html)) rocked-up version of Captain & Tennille's 's bouncy classic "Love Will Keep Us Together."
Nickelback's Chad Kroeger gives it a slick, polished and contemporary edge that does the original justice, and the new rocked-up arrangement is faithful enough to the delightful classic to be worthy of several repeat playbacks.
I can imagine this track played as a first dance song at a rock and roll wedding reception, can't you?"

Source: An Anonymous Blogger - A Sedaka-(esque)-Musical Arrangement of 'Love Will Keep Us Together' is debuted in a 1978 film entitled, 'SEXTETTE'. The tune is performed by MAE WEST (age - 84) & TIMOTHY DALTON - via a YouTube Video Link. / Feb. 2010

- CLICK HERE, TO VIEW THE YouTube Clip of Mae West / Timothy Dalton performing 'LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER.

Sextette is a 1978 Crown International Pictures comedy/ musical motion picture starring Mae West.

Others in the cast include Timothy Dalton, Dom DeLuise, Tony Curtis, Ringo Starr, Keith Moon, George Hamilton, Alice Cooper and Walter Pidgeon.

Read all about the film (critique, stars, trivia, etc. ) HERE....


Source: Greg Fox / Artist, illustrator, writer - A C&T Fan is uncovered, and apparently proud of it - cartoon. out of Northport, NY. / Sept. 2009

Discovered by C&T fan, CHRIS Y'' - from the town of RANCHO MIRAGE, CA. THANKS CHRIS !

- CLICK HERE, TO VIEW THE ENTIRE CARTOON STRIP, NOTE - When comic strip opens in separate webpage, click on upper-right 'icon' to enlarge comic size - for easier text reading.


Source: jibjab.com - C&T audition for "American Musicians Can Tango', TV SHOW out of Iceland. / Sept. 2009

Created by 'TISH' - from MySpace.com / Daryl & Toni were voted by the Iceland audience - 'third place', due to Daryl's limited dancing gift / stepe / style. bummer. View the TANGO DANCE featuring the twosome... click on below link...


Source: TheSpoof.com - Susan Boyle and Adam Lambert Form Captain & Tennille Tribute Band / June. 2009

Susan Boyle and Adam Lambert Form Captain & Tennille Tribute Band

Written by Zako Strle

Susan Boyle and Adam Lambert, fresh off disappointing second place finishes on "Britain's Got Talent" and "American Idol", have combined forces to form a tribute band for the 1970s pop music group, Captain & Tennille.
Although Captain & Tennille were already washed-up has-beens two years before Lambert was born, Lambert has fond memories of listening to their music as a child, along with other timeless hits such as "Fat Bottomed Girls", "Disco Duck" and Spinal Tap's rendition of "Big Bottom".
There have even rumors that the lovable losers may be linked romantically, as they were seen holding hands while trading lines on Captain & Tennille love songs such as "Love Will Keep Us Together", "The Way I Want to Touch You", "Do That to Me One More Time", and "You Never Done It Like That".
Grumpy and obnoxious talent judge, Simon Cowell, squelched rumors of a possible engagement, saying "It's not exactly a pop marriage made in heaven. She's old enough to be his mother and she left the studio in a fit of rage after Adam allegedly had a wardrobe malfunction with Susan's invisible lady friend's girdle."
Relations between the duo have been cold recently as their agents issued separate press releases announcing that the tw o may break up their musical partnership because of a bitter dispute over who gets to sing lead vocal on the Captain & Tennille hit, "Muskrat Love".
"Making nonsensical mouse gibberish noises on the backing vocal track is not something Ms. Boyle is willing to do, especially since there wasn't a dry eye in the studio after her rendition of 'Muskrat Love'", her agent announced in a prepared statement.
Meanwhile, Adam Lambert, was quoted recently in the American press as saying in a voice reminiscent of Micky Mouse, "Namowtafnoemnrut". When played backwards at slow speed, that quote sounds like "Turn me off, fat woman."
After acknowledging that a Boyle-Lambert Captain & Tennille Tribute Group could be his biggest financial boom since Clay Aiken, Cowell (who holds significant financial stakes in both singers) quipped, "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."

Source: Video, YouTube / Perry Como TV Special, late '70's, / March. 2009

Check out one of the last TV Specials of PERRY COMO, where C&T tried their hand at DISCO, with an almost parody-disco attempt of a musical [disco-like] arrangement of the original TURTLES hit record called ... "HAPPY TOGETHER". HEY - Get ready to DISCO NOW, when you click on the link below. - & TURN UP THE VOLUME !!


Source: TIM CARMAN, Blogger / WASHINGTON CITY PAPER, March. 2009

The Cap’t and Tennille Wrap HAS to Be a Joke
Posted by Tim Carman on Mar. 12, 2009, at 5:47 pm

Pumpernickels Bagelry and Delicatessen on Connecticut Avenue NW has a dizzying array of overhead chalkboards from which you’re supposed to place your order. This “Wrap ‘N Roll” menu, tucked way back in the bowels of the shop, caught my eye because of its musical bent. All the wraps were named after safe, mostly respected artists—Zeppelin, Buffett (as I said, mostly respected), Otis, Aretha, etc.—until you reached the bottom of the list.

There at the bottom, a vegetarian wrap with carrots and cucumbers and hummus and such, was given the unfortunate handle of “Captain and Tennille.” I laughed out loud when I saw it. Then I turned to the young man in the ball cap behind the counter and asked if this was a joke.

The counter man, safely removed from the schmaltz and pap of the ’70s, didn’t know who Captain and Tennille was. I envied him. I couldn’t get “Love Will Keep Us Together” out of my head..

CLICK HERE to see pic of the COMPLETE. above MENU

Source: Reno Gazette Journal, published in 2007 / ILLUSTRATOR: J.C. Duffy
This comic by 'Duffy' -discovered in her local newspaper - and sent to us via US Mail by 'Dottie', a close friend of ours in Reno, NV

Source: Entertainment Weekly, published in 1995 / ILLUSTRATOR: Danny Hellman
Sent to us from dedicated C&T fan, AUSTIN HAYES , from Calif. 10/2006. Austin writes..

Dear Daryl and Toni,

Sending you both warm greetings from Rancho Mirage and also a welcome back to the Coachella Valley too. It's the perfect time of year to once again start enjoying this beautiful desert area. Thank goodness it has finally cooled down!

I wanted to forward a magazine advertisement that was featured in the October 27, 1995 issue of Entertainment Weekly. It is a cartoon that was created to promote your "20 Years of Romance" CD. I really enjoyed it then and still do to this day. I found it was very light hearted and a clever way to advertise the CD. Unfortunately, I never saw it featured anywhere else again. Perhaps you've seen it before and if not, I hope you don't take offense to the artists drawings.

I scanned it and removed the article that was beside it. I hope you will consider posting it to your "Laughing At Ourselves" page on the website. I think the fans will get a kick out of seeing it.

Kindest Regards,
Austin Hayes
Coachella Valley, CA


Source: YouTube.com, 08/2006

www.YouTube.com Watch the Captain / Tennille / Tennille Sisters, C&T - ABC-TV Variety Show Production Staff, Don Knotts, Rich Little and others . . . GET MAJORLY PIED !! (in the face, and other areas), with pies made with SUGAR - believe it or not !!

Aired in March, 1977, on ABC Television.

Source: YouTube.com, 08/2006
www.YouTube.com has a karaoke version of Love Will Keep Us Together from a duet that we believe come pretty close to 'the real thing'. See if you agree. Hopefully, Neil Sedaka won't ask that the video clip be removed, because of royalty issues.

Source: Zits, 3/2005

The National Cartoonists Society's Best Comic Strip of the Year -- two years in a row!
Since its wildly popular debut in the summer of 1997, Zits has become one of America's favorite comic strips! Enter the life of Jeremy Duncan, a 15-year-old aspiring rock musician, riddled with angst, boredom and parents who don't understand anything. Let him show you the wonderfully lousy world of being a 15-year-old. Meet Jeremy's parents Connie and Walt Duncan. Watch as they continue to try to figure out the mysterious science of parenting a teenager... the second time around! Meet Jeremy's brother, Chad, the glowing college student. Jeremy will have to live up to his brother's dreadfully perfect example. Join Jeremy and his best friend Hector as they struggle to solve the mystery of life, aided with advanced hangin' out techniques. Watch Jeremy as he flounders around with his awkward high school love affair with Sara Toomey, his uh... girlfriend. Zits now appears in more than 1,100 newspapers, and is still growing!



HI .. C&T Fans and - others:
Have any 'funny' stuff you've discovered in magazines, newspapers, etc. - which is suitable to add to this page? Hey, thanks. Write to
: "Dear Captain & Tennille.."